What am I mad at?

I got much needed rest today: Got in the Word and meditated over Phil.2:1-18; had an awesome Bible study with my husband and vegged.  Then, out of nowhere I am back to wrestling with where I was when the day started…

Today I was renewing my mind that our battle is not against flesh and blood. 

So what am I mad at?

I’m not really mad at the thieves that broke into our home

I’m not really mad at our child or children who justify bad choices, lie about what they did or say hurtful things because after all that’s parenting right?! AND I am guilty too…

What am I mad at?  Things that I CAN NOT CONTROL!

I am mad at poverty.

I am mad at injustice.

I am tired of arguing right and wrong because someone wants to justify their perspective or position.

I am fearful of not being adequate enough to help our children know their identity in Christ or break bondages to be righteous men and women of God.

James 4:1-3

What am I mad at?  MYSELF (which by the way, I am very well aware is covered by the blood of the Lamb, mercy and grace – God has washed and poured his grace over me today and I am thankful for His peace; now if I could only ABIDE in that peace through the power of his Holy Spirit.)

Honestly, sometimes I just want life to be easier…

Instead of being really excited and thankful that we have running water today.  I hardly even noticed that blessing.

Instead of being frustrated at the asinine comments of one of my sons, I should be very proud that one stood up in truth.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself because I am so achy with whatever flu thingy I have; I should be really blessed that I was able to get out of bed and enjoy an awesome group of eighth grade girls bible study.

I am BLESSED and mostly I am mad that I can’t seem to dwell on that instead of battling my mind.  I truly desire to be faithful but on days like today I feel like such a train wreck physically, spiritually and emotionally…

Today my loving husband said, “I wouldn’t want to go through this beautiful disaster with anyone else.”  Man, he loves me well.  I couldn’t do this outside of Christ and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.  I love that man so much.

If God is for me, who can be against me?  (Even my own stinkin’ self?!)

This life is temporary and His mercies are made new everyday