Feeling Alive!

What makes you feel Alive?

I love quotes that say whimsical things like, "Find what makes you feel alive and seek it with all your heart."  I believe that we all have "God" buttons within that are just how we were individually created and it's these things about our personality that give us moments in life that show us what we love, or what we are created for, the moments that make life worth it.  Mostly, because as a Christian, when we realize that our identity is found in Him alone; abundant life, purpose and being dead in our transgressions but made alive by the spirit, all come from a personal relationship with Christ.
Things like this for me have been when we used to direct youth camps and would look out over the crowd and see a thousand youth in total surrender.

There are also those things that make you pause and soak in the moment.  You know, when the world stands still and you are in a surreal moment of a fulfillment, gratitude or just plain awe.
Moments like these for me before we moved to Haiti were a Friday evening, music blaring, the kids playing in the yard and bar-b-que on the grill.  LOVIN' Life!  Or, when we are driving out to the farm in Dublin, country music on down country roads where you loose telephone reception, and then we round the last corner when the driveways come in sight and the kids start yelling, "We're there or Poppy & Nanny!" and all the world feels right...
I could name a dozen other

Living in Haiti, those moments have changed but I can actually say the happen far more frequently.
Like watching the sunset rise or set over the ocean, riding on a taxi moto blaring some Caribbean compa music (my favorite is reggae) and just soaking in the incredible scenery, or people watching the world as it flies by on a moto.

Yesterday, I had a day full of "Alive Moments!"

- I LOVE to sing and lead worship through music.  I got the opportunity to do that yesterday and was so very blessed and filled.  One of our boys played guitar and I bellowed my heart out to the creator of the universe.  I prayed that God would use it deeply and someone shared afterwards that He did and it was a cherished moment for me.

-We eat primarily Haitian food all the time, but on Sundays IF we have Velveeta blocks (which we do because the WKU team brought them - Woot! Woot!) I make American Homemade Macaroni on Sundays after church. Yesterday, I also fried bread for them to have with it!  I hope they remember these times and Sundays, holding memories of home for their whole life.
 I love to cook and feed our family.   Sitting around the table full of our awesome children as they eat, laugh and share always puts me in a peaceful awe that God has called and ordained this big family!

- I sat in bed after Sunday night prayer group and watched a movie with Terah.  Earlier, we had our discipleship meeting and also victory for me because as we talked and she responded, I patiently addressed some of her answers and pointed out how they could "smart alikey"  (Boy, almost 13 has been fun...) and taking the advice of Mr. Gordon Lipscomb, later we just hung out without agenda, watched a funny movie and laughed together.  It was great...

-THEN, to top off a glorious Sunday - my husband took our boillon (stew) pot and propane heated some water for me.  I sat in our shower and bucket bathed the most glorious HOT water bath EVER!  It felt so good and comforting and the world was so right and full in that moment!  Aw...

I felt incredibly alive yesterday and it's those days that you can hold to on the tough ones.
Thank you Lord!

What I love...

Though I OFTEN find myself humming..."Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this Mama said."  I also find myself constantly writing a status or tweeting about how much I love the things that are going to take place (if God wills) on that day...
So I thought I'd share some of those things-

Monday: I am loving that our children attend Sonlight Academy and so starting the week, getting up and in their cute uniforms just blesses me as they wake up, eat breakfast talking about all that is going to take place in their day and then walking them to school!

Tuesday:  Tuesday and Thursday is when Terah's amazing and sweet French tutor Fiona comes over!  I love Terah flourishing academically but also getting to be mentored by an awesome young Haitian girl (other than her sweet sisters) with another local missionary's daughter in her class at school.  Seeing their smiles and hearing their laughs is a blessing!

Thursday: This day exceeds limits of excitement for the greatness it holds!  FIRST is discipleship with Ms. Gail in LaPointe!!! Then, we all gear up for Community Bible Study!!!  John prepares throughout the beginning of the week for what God would speak to us through His Word, we pray over the day and hearts and we never cease to be in awe of who God draws and what He is doing in this beautiful community of the body of Christ! YES!!!

Friday:  Family Fun Fritay Friday!!!
Oh yea...we have a dinner of Haitian fried foods, a cold coke for the week, project a movie as a family and bask in our blessings!
On this day we find ourselves humming the country song, "A little bit of chicken fried..."

Saturday:  Saturday morning is John's Men's Group of purposely Raising Modern Day Knights-Men of Honor, Respect and Integrity & it's also English Club in our court yard.  Some of our staff and students along with neighbors and friends gather to learn English!  It's such a blessing to empower minds through education and fulfilling to feel that a legacy is left in these ways!

Sunday:  Church!  We have not exactly found a "Home" church in PdP but we go where John is preaching at a local Haitian fellowship.   Though hot, we love the spirit of worship and prayer!  Often, our family and children sing and as all parents we are so filled with pride, What God is doing and the blessing of Him using us through worship.
Today was amazing as not only did our kids share a song they wrote BUT the church sang, "Further Along we'll understand why, cheer up my brother, live in the light, we'll understand it more by and by."
Whoa!  There is something powerful and surreal singing that particular song in creole with Haitians that understand the face of poverty and depths of brokenness much deeper than most in the U.S.
On this day we find ourselves humming, "That's what I love about Sundays..."
Sunday nights are Prayer group night and There is Power in Prayer so this is always a night that brings unity and victory through praying over eachother, family/friends/sponsors, Haiti, the world.

What I see...

I fondly call Fridays... Family Fun Fritay Friday.  I love Fridays.  We always have fritay for dinner; in Haiti that means some type of fried meat, usually chicken or fish, homemade french fries called pom de tet, fried plantane, fried bread called marianad and sometimes a beet salad with some piklis (hot and spicy cole slaw).  We have a cold coke or sprite for the week, project a movie and watch it together; with subtitles in french of course.  

This is going to sound funny but I have many surreal moments during these family nights that I cherish.  We watch all types of movies and I remember their responses to many of them.  

Inspirational ones like Courageous when they see the commitments of men wanting to be godly husband and fathers.  

Facing the Giants when the message of faith pierces their hearts and they are assured through this film that Nothing is impossible with God (we actually took this movie to our local Haitian church to share!)  Coach Carter when they learn from the coaching lessons and cheer for (literally out loud) the underdog team.  From this movie in particular one of our students shared at the September Family meeting that when we challenge them to live with kingdom excellence in order to be strong men and woman of God; to be disciplined and live in community as a family with compassion for all that it is like the basketball player that came off the street knowing how to play street ball, but the coach told him now he had to play by his rules if he wanted to be on the team because he knew how to win championships.  Learning to play by his rules meant that the game wasn't all about him; and it was hard for him to respect and accept this but he wanted it, he worked for it and he found victory.  After his example, he simply stated I want to play for the House of Moses team.  I want this.  I will work hard and I am trusting God for victory. 

One of my most memorable was October Baby when we all connected so deeply with the young girl who desperately wanted to know her true identity but mostly that she was wanted and loved.  Tears flowed, and our breath was at times taken as I prayed over every heart in the room as we somehow grew closer in our connection because of the love that God has put between us.

Last week was the movie Freedom Writers and inspiration was so thick you could have scooped it up.  The depth of the truth that giving experiences and opportunity created greater possibility and investing in lives is worth it.  Ah, I was completely wooed by the fact that I want to take House of Moses to Cap Haitian, to the Cidadelle (google it).  What an experience of Haitian culture and history that would be for them! The investment will be worth it someday but today we need to eat so that continues to be on the prayer list if God wills.

  In these times I look around the room at the expressions on their faces...

Tonight the movie was an intense but real life story about Hope -the power of Hope.  

I truly don't know what each of you may see when you see the picture of a Haitian life part of our direct or extended family here in Haiti.  Lives that need support and sponsorship but beyond the picture they all have a story, some family, amazing hearts with strengths and insecurities and they are so worth everything this fallen world has to offer.  

We love them so much.  I am so honored to have them in our life.  I wish I could share, really share who they are with each of you and somehow it's during these "movie moments" with the blue tint of the movie reflecting from their faces that I smile knowing God is doing such a work in our of lives.

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John 

My heart aches to leave...

In the morning I leave what I have known for the past 7 months.  I remember flying into Haiti 7 months ago.  On our approach into Port Au Prince, I remember looking out the window thinking, “Seven months...what all will happen in the next seven months of my life?”

Little did I know that my life would be flipped upside down by a beautiful land full of communal people that know how to give love.

It isn’r really fair Christi Barnes...you were the one that fell in love with this place.  For several years I fought the call.  I came knowing God was calling but had no idea that I would be consumed so much by this place.

I have a thousand stories to tell, but I will share the one happened today.  

Kessy is our moto driver.  He has cared for our family the last seven months.  Whether it was trips to the market, the bank, the hospital, etc. he has been there for us.  

This morning when he came into the house, he began to tell us what happened to his mother.  His uncle broke into the yard and attacked her with a machete and she was badly injured.  We prayed for Kessy and his family and then I was encouraged by the Holy Spirit to share the following verse with him.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

Romans 12: 17-20 

He comes back this afternoon to tell us goodbye, in which I had no idea how much it would hurt.  I had no idea how much I had become one with this brother. 

He brought with him a paper with some verses on it and he asked, “Fre John, m’ bezwen ven souple.”  He needed 20 copies.  As I began to look at the paper, I noticed it was the scripture that I had shared with him earlier in the day.  

He saw inquisitive look and told me...”I need to share these Scriptures with many people.”  Are you serious?  A time when he could be focused on himself and his hurt, he turns it around for a chance to teach others about a concept in which is countercultural.  

I handed the finished copies to him and gave him a big hug and tears began to flow down both our cheeks.  I will miss Kessy.  I cannot wait to see how much he grows in his Christ journey while we are gone.

It is 6:28 pm here in Haiti and we are about to have devotionals, so I will stop typing.

In closing I want to challenge each one of you, DO NOT IGNORE WHAT YOU ARE BEING CALLED TO.  Sure it may be scary, stretching, trying, etc. but I promise you will never fully live until you step out and obey in the direction you are being called.

Christi, thank you for the way you were patient with me.  I now ask you to be patient with me as I weep for the place that has become my home.